I'm having internal conflict lately. I feel as though I've failed. Yes, it's something I put upon myself.
I've had to supplement a bottle a day of formula for Kian at daycare.
I know, *gasp*, how horrible, that's what some of you are thinking. But, in some way I feel as though I've failed the goal I've set. I really wanted my child to get through life without fake "milk", especially in that dry powered, smelly form. My goal was to breastfeed for at least the first year.
When I was home it was easy. Going back to work it hasn't been so easy. I have a great pump and up until Monday had my own office to do whatever I needed to do in. I think it's more the stress of work, and a natural progression of less milk as he approaches a year and is eating more table foods. He still wants and needs me first thing in the morning, but I couldn't keep up with two bottles he needs for daycare while I'm gone. So he gets one formula bottle now... not for lack of trying everything ever known to man-er woman, to improve it.
But, every time I shake up that smelly stuff I feel a twinge of guilt.