So...this is when working in the city gets weird, not quite dangerous, but always making you wonder.
The day starts well, I'm actually on time for work. I do some paperwork in my office before leaving again for a meeting with a family. I return to my office after this meeting. Just as I try to pull into the parking lot there's a women stumbling(?) down the road. Hmm. "Is she drunk, does she have a limp/impairment, what?" I'm think. She stops in the entry of the parking lot, turns around and notices I am waiting to pull in the lot. She slurs "come on in" (did she hiccup or was that my imagination?) and starts to walk out of my way. She stumbles and misses the curb and falls down in the middle of the lane. Wonderful.
My car is in the middle of the road. But, I stay there because now I am protecting her from being hit by cars. I roll down my window and say "are you okay?". She's mumbling incoherently and trying to get up, but can't seem to. A coworker is watching this whole thing and asks if the woman is drunk. To which I reply, "she seems pretty intoxicated". She calls the police to let them know about the drunk woman stumbling down the road. I pull into the parking spot to get out of the road. By this time the woman has gets up and resumes wobbling down the city streets.
On the way to the door I meet a (cute!) cable guy and the building maintenance man. The cable guy says they witnessed the entire event. He wants to make sure the woman isn't saying I hit her. He says she might try to pull a scam. The maintenance guy says he also saw her stumbling down the sidewalk.
Sigh.
I make my way the half block to the entrance to my office. Parked in the street next to the door is this little, red, pimped out car. There is music blasting from inside, with the driver's door open. A small, thin, dark man with a fedora, is dancing in the open door. He's swaying slowly with his arms in the air. I glance at him quickly. He caught me. He smiles big and says "May I have this dance ma'am." Something between a giggle and a gasp escapes my throat, I can only shake my head. I open the door and walk into the building. The pharmacist had been watching the whole thing. He looks at me and says "welcome to the city".
Indeed.
Big sigh.
Mind you, it's only 10:20 am.
On a Thursday.
Welcome to Rochester, indeed.
*PS-This morning, Friday morning, I pulled into my spot in the parking lot and 2 rows ahead of me is the fenced in AC unit. There is a (homeless?) man urinating into the fence. What?. Christmas list: mace, knife, taser.*
Showing posts with label fear less Fridays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear less Fridays. Show all posts
Fear Less Fridays
Ok I have to be honest here. I don't like leaving my child, I miss him when I'm not with him. But, it's possible, probable I will need to soon to get a part-time job or something. Here's the thing, I would prefer to leave him in a center I think, because I can "tell" them what to do, what to feed my child, feel that there are sufficient regulations, monitorings, etc. Though it might seem ideal to have relatives watch them, and there are some I am more comfortable with than others. My "fear" or irrational paranoia annoyance, is that they will just do what they feel like with my child.
Now, relatives offer all the time for 'free babysitting' and encourage me to go out, or Kevin to go out, or both of us, or just tell us to leave Kian with other people so he'll 'get used to it'. First, I like being with my baby so I don't feel the need to leave him just so he can 'get used to it'. Second, I really am paranoid about what would happen if I did leave my child because there aren't rules in place like at a daycare center.
For example, I am into nutritious eating (I'm not perfect, but am really refining our meals and what we eat/have in the house) and since I have made Kian's food, or made sure he's had mostly organic or "non-crap added" food as i like to call it, this is an area of concern. Some 'helpful' people like to either tell me to just give him this or that, or it won't hurt him, or worse, "ask" Kian if he wants this junk. Ugh. I fear that if I leave my child in these places he will be fed things I don't want him fed. And it's more than just an irrational fear as these older generations had very VERY different ideas on baby feeding. Like, feeding cereal at 2-3 weeks, weaning to milk at 7 months and chocolate milk at that, to encourage weaning. Oy vey! So, am I really being paranoid? It's like the older generation needs a crash course in "re-parenting" or baby care.
Another thing is that they think it's cute he 'watches' tv. Thankfully he really doesn't, (although he likes the spinning wheel of fortune) and I absolutely do not want him to watch tv! But, they think he should or it's no big deal. I know this is, again, different times, different rules, etc. But, unless I stand there and lecture about everything that's changed in the world in the last 25 years and give examples of studies and pediatric research...? What do I do?
It probably will offend people if I choose a center or home daycare when/if I need to, but I know I need to do what will make me comfortable leaving my child. I also talked with Kevin how I'd like to find a teenage girl in this new church we started attending who we could rely on for a few years and really get to know our family, that would be most beneficial. Plus, let's not just forget the fact he's still nursing and he's only 8 months old, so extended time away from me is just not necessary. Am I really crazy?
Now, relatives offer all the time for 'free babysitting' and encourage me to go out, or Kevin to go out, or both of us, or just tell us to leave Kian with other people so he'll 'get used to it'. First, I like being with my baby so I don't feel the need to leave him just so he can 'get used to it'. Second, I really am paranoid about what would happen if I did leave my child because there aren't rules in place like at a daycare center.
For example, I am into nutritious eating (I'm not perfect, but am really refining our meals and what we eat/have in the house) and since I have made Kian's food, or made sure he's had mostly organic or "non-crap added" food as i like to call it, this is an area of concern. Some 'helpful' people like to either tell me to just give him this or that, or it won't hurt him, or worse, "ask" Kian if he wants this junk. Ugh. I fear that if I leave my child in these places he will be fed things I don't want him fed. And it's more than just an irrational fear as these older generations had very VERY different ideas on baby feeding. Like, feeding cereal at 2-3 weeks, weaning to milk at 7 months and chocolate milk at that, to encourage weaning. Oy vey! So, am I really being paranoid? It's like the older generation needs a crash course in "re-parenting" or baby care.
Another thing is that they think it's cute he 'watches' tv. Thankfully he really doesn't, (although he likes the spinning wheel of fortune) and I absolutely do not want him to watch tv! But, they think he should or it's no big deal. I know this is, again, different times, different rules, etc. But, unless I stand there and lecture about everything that's changed in the world in the last 25 years and give examples of studies and pediatric research...? What do I do?
It probably will offend people if I choose a center or home daycare when/if I need to, but I know I need to do what will make me comfortable leaving my child. I also talked with Kevin how I'd like to find a teenage girl in this new church we started attending who we could rely on for a few years and really get to know our family, that would be most beneficial. Plus, let's not just forget the fact he's still nursing and he's only 8 months old, so extended time away from me is just not necessary. Am I really crazy?
Fear Less Fridays
Last week I did a 'fearless' friday post. This time I changed it to Fear Less, because these are things I fear and maybe I will fear them less if I talk about them? Oh who am I kidding, they'll still scare the crap out of me.
Today, I am going to admit that once in awhile, thank God it's not often, I get stuck on what would happen to my child, my spouse, the world, without me? Or if something happened to both Kevin and I? Would there be fighting over my child? Who would raise him closest to what I would? Would he know how much I love him? Would he know how much I/we sacrificed for him and actually appreciate it? Horrible I know.
Now, I do have some thoughts on who I would actually want to raise my child. Yes, I know this is where everyone lectures me on having a will or something in writing, and yes we plan on getting that done soon. I would also plan on having someone else see to the money part.
I just panic sometimes when I think of these things. Boys aren't emotional and how would this child really truly know the depth of my love if I wasnt there to tell him? Would anyone else remind him? Even tho I wish he could stay small, I want to see him grow up and see who he will be.
Ok, confession over. Hopefully, in time this fear will become less and less...
Can someone also tell me WHY for the love of Pete the stupid spell check hasn't worked in weeks?!!!!
Today, I am going to admit that once in awhile, thank God it's not often, I get stuck on what would happen to my child, my spouse, the world, without me? Or if something happened to both Kevin and I? Would there be fighting over my child? Who would raise him closest to what I would? Would he know how much I love him? Would he know how much I/we sacrificed for him and actually appreciate it? Horrible I know.
Now, I do have some thoughts on who I would actually want to raise my child. Yes, I know this is where everyone lectures me on having a will or something in writing, and yes we plan on getting that done soon. I would also plan on having someone else see to the money part.
I just panic sometimes when I think of these things. Boys aren't emotional and how would this child really truly know the depth of my love if I wasnt there to tell him? Would anyone else remind him? Even tho I wish he could stay small, I want to see him grow up and see who he will be.
Ok, confession over. Hopefully, in time this fear will become less and less...
Can someone also tell me WHY for the love of Pete the stupid spell check hasn't worked in weeks?!!!!
Fearless Friday
Sounded good to me anyway. There are some things I fear too much to ever try-skydiving for one, bungee-jumping for another. My other fear was that I wouldn't be able to do natural childbirth. I really did NOT want that epidural and was so afraid that my resolve would be broken and I'd just take it.
And God's funny sometimes. After being stuck at 6 cm for 9 hours and having horrendous back labor I was breaking. I said "let's just talk about the epidural". But, lo and behold they woudln't do it. Seems that my minor clotting issue hadn't been documented much in their paperwork and they didn't have my blood work results and since it was like 11pm they couldn't access them and so 'they were so sorry but wouldn't do it due to concerns and possible outcomes".
I got what I wanted alright. But, next time I will do without the stinkin' nubain too. Which didn't help any pain, just made me talk about rabbits and things like that, that shouldn't be spoken of in labor rooms.
Some fears I want to overcome, others I have no desire too. Spiders, I fear them, or hate them, I'm not sure. But I can't even look at them, even now typing about them makes me think of them and shudder. I have no desire to try to overcome that fear. To me that would be like the psychology video where they wrapped snakes around the woman who was afraid of them and left them there until she stopped screaming. No thank you!
As I get older other fears surface-fears of leaving my child and family alone, without me. Fear of heights that wasn't such a big deal before. Luckily I do not have to get up high much. So I just thought fearless friday sounded good. I'll think of some more fears I have already overcome or want to or need to overcome next week.
Who else has silly fears like spiders? ewww!
And God's funny sometimes. After being stuck at 6 cm for 9 hours and having horrendous back labor I was breaking. I said "let's just talk about the epidural". But, lo and behold they woudln't do it. Seems that my minor clotting issue hadn't been documented much in their paperwork and they didn't have my blood work results and since it was like 11pm they couldn't access them and so 'they were so sorry but wouldn't do it due to concerns and possible outcomes".
I got what I wanted alright. But, next time I will do without the stinkin' nubain too. Which didn't help any pain, just made me talk about rabbits and things like that, that shouldn't be spoken of in labor rooms.
Some fears I want to overcome, others I have no desire too. Spiders, I fear them, or hate them, I'm not sure. But I can't even look at them, even now typing about them makes me think of them and shudder. I have no desire to try to overcome that fear. To me that would be like the psychology video where they wrapped snakes around the woman who was afraid of them and left them there until she stopped screaming. No thank you!
As I get older other fears surface-fears of leaving my child and family alone, without me. Fear of heights that wasn't such a big deal before. Luckily I do not have to get up high much. So I just thought fearless friday sounded good. I'll think of some more fears I have already overcome or want to or need to overcome next week.
Who else has silly fears like spiders? ewww!
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