After sticking his hands in the crib, slapping at Karter's face, yelling "wake up! wake up!" (he wanted to hold and play with him apparently) I finally put him in his room for a break/time out. He yells "No, Mommy! This is ridiculous!" and tried to walk out. Oh...Lord...help me now.
Another time I put him on the step and said "you're in time out." He got up and said "Actually, I'm not."
"The trees are naked mommy!" After a particularly windy day that blew the rest of the leaves on the ground.
After a talking to about how we were going to take a nap and not cry and try to get out of it like the day before: "Yes, mommy, no screamin' no yellin' just sleep". Now, if he follows through on it, remains to be seen!
"Kevin! you're home from work!" Ahhh, you mean daddy?!
"Actually, let's figure out something." I don't even remember what this was about, but it cracks me up.
Upon me walking into the living room, Kian is standing on the couch and proclaims "I don't have gum mommy! I'm not chewing gum!". Looking closer, I see two tiny pieces of chewed gum on the couch next to him. I told him he was his own worst enemy, as I had no clue he had gum at all, and wasn't even going to reprimand him when I walked in, he gave that one to me.
The boy is extremely interested in bones, the body, body processes, and of course we talk a lot of about some of them due to potty training. I told him he needs to become a doctor. After pooping on the toilet once, then going in his diaper later that day, while changing him he says to me: "I eat the food, it goes in my stomach. My stomach chews it up and it goes to my bum. It comes out my bum and into the toilet. I flush the toilet and then poop goes out to the fishies. They eat it and play with it." He is his father's child. I ain't claiming that one. But, yes, so glad he knows the digestion process before 2 and a half years old. He'll be the one explaining things to kids on the bus!
"Bye bye poopy! See you later, have fun with the fishies!"
Me: what do you want for dinner Kian?
Kian: broccoli, celery, cauliflower, sweet n sour, peachy keen. (with a perfectly straight face)
Veggie tales much? It is a catchy intro though.
Kian: Where's daddy?
Me: At work, like every morning.
Kian: (disgusted) He's got no reason!
Me: (not containing my laughter) well, you are the reason!
Someday, when he's a ripe old teenager, I shall print these all out and he'll just about die of embarrassment. It will be great fun!
My favorite: grabbing me around the neck tightly "I love you so much mommy!"