The House That Built Me

I only heard this song yesterday afternoon. I was driving when it came on and I only got 3 lines in before I was choking back that lump in my throat and fighting back tears. I actually had to shut it off because I was on my way in to get Karter and I knew if I listened to the entire song I'd never be composed enough to get in there.

I think with all the changes going on in my life and in my family that this just hits me square in the heart. What I am grieving the most is those happy memories and what I see now has no resemblance of the past. Yes, those memories are still there and still happy but somehow shadowed. The house doesn't look the same, nor does the yard. I always saw me bringing my kids back to that beautiful piece of land...it's just not the same.

But, it's the house that built me. It's what shaped me and who I am. That tiny space, packed in tight with my family. That large outside to explore and discover and imagine and just be. The stillness, the silence. The openness. So much good. So much in the past. My favorite cat is buried by a walnut tree. (Okay, so there are several cats buried there, but so is my most favorite!)

I've never been sure if I liked Miranda Lambert (you know she stole Blake Shelton away from his wife and she's the kind of girl I'd either be best friends with or hate, I can't decide.) But, after this song...I'm a fan.