Conversations with Kian-bathroom edition

In BJ's, Kian tells me he has to go potty. I take him to the front of the store and bring him to the women's bathroom. He has a little tantrum:
Kian: I HAVE to go in the BOYS bathroom, Mommy!
Me: You can when you are bigger, but I can't go in there with you and you need to go in the girls'.
Kian: No! I am a BOY, I am not a GIRL! I will go in the boys' bathroom!
Sigh. Karter is strapped in cart still, as I usually let him go in the women's and just stand in the door and watch.
....waiting....hear toilet flush...waiting....waiting...great a man is going in there...getting nervous, all kinds of terrible thoughts come in my head....thinking about yelling in comes out quickly.
Me: Is there a little boy in there?
Man: Yes, he's just standing at the sink. I"ll stand in the door, you can get him.

Kian: I have to wash my hands!
Me: You can do it in the girls' bathroom.
Kian: No! the boys! No! That man was going to help me! I was waiting for someone to help me and he was going to help me!
Me: No, he was not and you can't just stand at the sink expecting strangers to wash your hands.
Kian: Yes I can!
Me: No, from now on you go in the girls' with me.
Kian: I'm NOT a girl!

While Karter and I finished dinner this evening, Kian went to use the bathroom. Kevin went to check on him.
Kevin: Are you almost done buddy? Do you need help?
Kian: I do not need help. I am having diarrhea.
Kevin: You are?
Kian: Yes diarrhea is when your poop is mushy and doesn't stay together like a snake, and mine is not staying together, so I have diarrhea, that must mean I am sick.
Kevin: Oh...I don't think you have diarrhea....I don't think you're sick.
Kian: Yes, I do. Mommy, I am sick, I have diarrhea.
Me: thanks, I was eating.

When Kevin asked Kian what he likes about Grandpa for his 60th birthday, or something funny that grandpa says or does, Kian answers: "He says poop-crap and is funny". Oy.

Then Kian and I relay the story about the BJ's bathroom to Kevin. Kevin is not amused and tells him not to run into the boys' bathroom alone again, that he could get hurt or some people might not be nice, etc. Kian comes out to me and says: "I am sorry I ran into the boys' bathroom without you mommy, it's just that I am not a girl, I am a boy, so I didn't want to be in the girls' bathroom, you know?"

It's just that? You know? poop talk? Too much for me. Stick a fork in me.

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