Maybe I should be sitting in a confessional somewhere. I've got to admit that I sometimes deal with envy. It's not that it takes over my life, but I notice it and throw a few sarcastic remarks around, about whatever it is I am feeling envious over.

I suffer from blog envy. Which stems from my photoshop envy (I have a serious secret love affair with it from a distance) and that probably comes from my financial envy. That seems like a lot, but I don't think it is really. I see other blogs with cool backgrounds, layouts, headings, poetic writing and I feel a little underachieving in the blog department. Then, I realize I don't have expensive cameras or expensive photoshop programs (I can't just shell out $600 for one or both!) as much as I'd like to have them both. That in turn, makes me realize a lot of other things I don't afford. Not that I necessarily want or need them. But, I know quite a few adults whose parents still pay for many things for them, buy them things, or just hand over money. It can get a bit frustrating when I see that, knowing I work my tail off to pay my student loans back, pay my mortgage, etc. Yes, I know that some of those adults don't even have a mortgage, which probably lets them afford other things.

Of course, I always am envious of those skinny girls, especially the ones that drop sizes 2 months after giving birth. I am proud that I lost all my pregnancy weight and then some (I haven't seen this number since freshman year in college!), but then feel deflated when I realize it took me almost a year, and took others mere months.

It's a vicious cycle. I am envious that I don't have money handed to me, or things, I don't come from a wealthy background obviously. But, then again, growing up I learned to earn, to work hard and save. If I wanted something that wasn't a necessity then I needed to go above and beyond and figure it out. There's a trend lately, especially in the upcoming generation, of entitlement. I never had that, never experienced that, and I am thankful that I learned about hard work and standards and good work ethic. But still, we all would love to win the lotto wouldn't we?


The New Mrs. Rue said...

You, my dear, are NOT alone!! I deal with that all the time, since I'm surrounded by such insanely talented people. But you can download a 30 day trial version of photoshop from adobe...so for 30 days you can play and have fun!! =)

Morning By Morning said...

Great Post~I can completely relate!!