Ch-ch-changes

Not only are we dealing with the visual and physical changes of seasons before our eyes, watching leaves turn red and drop to the ground, but a lot of other changes unseen as well. Some changes are easy, some are difficult. But, to be honest, most change is difficult for me. I don't particularly like change. Some I am excited about, even though I am nervous about the unknown. (Having a baby was one of those nerve-wracking but so wanted, loved changes.)

There are always small changes we are trying to make in the house, in regards to chores, finances, etc. And of course, keeping up with Kian, his ever developing, ever growing curiosity and exploration forces us to make changes weekly for his safety as well as learning. (Poor Kevin did not like the change of having to move the foosball table from our family room and into the basement. But, I could not, would not let it stay as those handles were just waiting to begin jabbing eyes out!)

Friday, at work, we were informed of more changes headed our way. Big changes, changes we didn't see coming. It's an awkward situation at this time. In one respect, it means the way things are/were will be over, and we will now have to relearn some things. We will have to adjust to another personality and style and abide by that. But, yet on the other hand, I wonder what this means for our program and how a different person might help it flourish in another way. (sorry to be so vague, but I have to keep my mouth shut on specifics for a little longer) The good thing is that the 4 of us (out of the 6) have bonded well, are very similar in personalities, likes/dislikes, etc. and can count on each other, vent to each other and push each other as well as encourage each other in the job, as well as personally. We will rely on that bond to get through more changes and come out on top. Although, I think because of this major change the hiring of another person is on hold, which means I still have my own office for awhile! woo hoo!

Oddly enough, even though I don't care for change, I do like the changing of seasons. I hate to stay in one season too long though, especially winter. I love mild fall days, warm spring sunshine with new green blossoms. I don't care for extreme temps, not super hot, nor freezing, I don't do well with extremes. I just love to see the various colors, plants and animals that come and go with the seasons fading into the next.

In other ways, I embrace change: my weight loss and new body image! I continue to keep working on maintaining my weight and toning what's left. I love that change! Even though I gained too much during my pregnancy, the weight loss after giving birth and breastfeeding, with some jogging workouts snuck in, does wonders for my body. I tried to convince Kevin that having another one will make me lose even more weight! He didn't quite buy it. But, no matter what, I am happy with myself physically for the first time in a very long, long time. The only time I was "fat" per se was when I was pregnant. Ugh. I was never a lot overweight, but it was always in the wrong places. (read: having a huge size C chest in 6th grade while the rest of the class was still in training bras? devastating!) So, appreciating what my body can do (house, grow, birth and nurture a baby) and how it looks now, how I feel, how I worked to get it where it's at, feels great. This is one change I want to keep on changing!

There's not a lot of other specific things right now, but just in the last year there has been a lot of changes in my relationships with family in friends. Some good, some bad, some indifferent. I am not always sure how to deal with this, as I am looking at it through adult eyes now, instead of a child's eyes as I had previously. Sometimes, I admit, I just ignore it and hope it all goes away. We all know that doesn't work. But, in looking at the big picture and realizing my first priorities are my little family now, and myself, I don't feel as guilty "pushing" these things towards the back of the line at times.

No matter that changes, one thing remains-Thanksgiving at grandma's is filled with tons of food. Oh wait, you thought I was going to say something inspirational like love remains, God is faithful, I can count on myself always, I can only change myself, I need to be the change I want to see in others, I can always count on God to listen, etc. ? Well, of course, I was going to say all that! I just got carried away thinking about the Holiday changes and how many pies I have to bake this year-12 I think... But, love it or despise it, change is always going to be around, and we have to learn how to deal with each change as it comes, and recognize in our self how to adapt and thrive, despite these changes. I think I am on my way.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

WTF