Babywise

I just have to proclaim my disdain for this so called "method". I know people who use/have used it, and claim success. But on the other hand and perhaps my own personal opinion (altho I've seen research to back it up) it's not a great way to 'parent' let's say. Over the last year, being pregnant and such, I did so much research, so much reading, my coworkers used to actually yell at me and Kevin would just learn to nod his head at whatever I said. So, I have researched both and a lot, I'm not just saying things off the top of my head.
First, let's start with Babywise. My first problem is that it is written by a guy (Ezzo). Yep, just a guy. No pediatrician, no psychologist, no child developmental specialist, no doctor, no teacher, no nothing, not even having any education or courses in any child development, education, counseling, NOTHING. That's my first issue. Yes, having your own children can give you experience, but only so much. And just because one thing worked with your children does not in any way make it right for the rest of the population.
Second, the premise of the book is that children are evil and manipulative, infants are trying to manipulate their parents. Why that evil 2 week old child is manipulating you right now! For the love of Pete! It's not even possible, children have no clue about right and wrong, or manipulation for awhile. Yes they learn cause and effect but not right and wrong and such, until years down the road. (even the law says so, children cannot testify in court unless they can identify a lie, right/wrong, which is at the earliest 5 years old). So he basically is making these parents think they have to 'discipline' their tiny babies.
Third, he enforces a strict schedule on newborns. There's an eat, play, sleep schedule that parents are to strictly adhere to and enforce. If the baby wakes up from nap early, it stays in the crib and cries until the parents say nap time is over, this way the baby learns to obey the parents and follow the rules. If the child is hungry before it's feeding time, too bad, you can give a pacifier but not feed the child. Major, MAJOR problems with that. A. it does not account for growth spurts in a rapidly growing infant. B. not all babies can go 4 hours without feeding. C. there are too many numerous factors to account for in this scenario, I don't have time for that. D. This also affects the breastfeeding mother, milk is a supply and demand thing. Lengthening time between nursings is telling your body your baby doesn't need that much, it may make less, or you can become engorged, clogged, etc.
Fourth, This does not encourage good bonding time with that baby. I think it makes that baby feel even more helpless. It makes that poor baby think that no matter how hoard it cries you are not going to respond unless YOU are ready, unless YOU say it is time. Talk about manipulating and controlling.
But the thing I have the most disgust with is this: it explicitly tells parents to ignore their feelings of anxiety, wanting to help their child, guilt, sadness, to ignore baby's cues, etc. when that baby cries; it tells parents to not discuss this method with other people because 'other people wont understand what you're trying to do'; and it tells them that they should be ready for attacks by other people about this method. Now, if you have to premise your theory with that, that tells me that something is extremely wrong and it makes me think of a cult-like setting.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I'm sure there's some who absolutely love this whole series. But, when I read books that tell me to slap my 7 month old's hands for dropping food on the floor, for making my toddler say 'obey' all the time, I can't see how that's beneficial. I want my child to obey, to not be a brat, to learn right from wrong, to have a routine, but not be so stuck in it, to not have a single, creative idea in his head, I don't want him to be a robot dictated by how I say he should think, act and feel. I want him to obey and to listen, but know that he will make mistakes, and that's okay.
Ok that was the longest post ever, and now that I got my rant of the week out, I better get ready for the final Christmas party.

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