Fear Less Fridays

Ok I have to be honest here. I don't like leaving my child, I miss him when I'm not with him. But, it's possible, probable I will need to soon to get a part-time job or something. Here's the thing, I would prefer to leave him in a center I think, because I can "tell" them what to do, what to feed my child, feel that there are sufficient regulations, monitorings, etc. Though it might seem ideal to have relatives watch them, and there are some I am more comfortable with than others. My "fear" or irrational paranoia annoyance, is that they will just do what they feel like with my child.

Now, relatives offer all the time for 'free babysitting' and encourage me to go out, or Kevin to go out, or both of us, or just tell us to leave Kian with other people so he'll 'get used to it'. First, I like being with my baby so I don't feel the need to leave him just so he can 'get used to it'. Second, I really am paranoid about what would happen if I did leave my child because there aren't rules in place like at a daycare center.

For example, I am into nutritious eating (I'm not perfect, but am really refining our meals and what we eat/have in the house) and since I have made Kian's food, or made sure he's had mostly organic or "non-crap added" food as i like to call it, this is an area of concern. Some 'helpful' people like to either tell me to just give him this or that, or it won't hurt him, or worse, "ask" Kian if he wants this junk. Ugh. I fear that if I leave my child in these places he will be fed things I don't want him fed. And it's more than just an irrational fear as these older generations had very VERY different ideas on baby feeding. Like, feeding cereal at 2-3 weeks, weaning to milk at 7 months and chocolate milk at that, to encourage weaning. Oy vey! So, am I really being paranoid? It's like the older generation needs a crash course in "re-parenting" or baby care.

Another thing is that they think it's cute he 'watches' tv. Thankfully he really doesn't, (although he likes the spinning wheel of fortune) and I absolutely do not want him to watch tv! But, they think he should or it's no big deal. I know this is, again, different times, different rules, etc. But, unless I stand there and lecture about everything that's changed in the world in the last 25 years and give examples of studies and pediatric research...? What do I do?

It probably will offend people if I choose a center or home daycare when/if I need to, but I know I need to do what will make me comfortable leaving my child. I also talked with Kevin how I'd like to find a teenage girl in this new church we started attending who we could rely on for a few years and really get to know our family, that would be most beneficial. Plus, let's not just forget the fact he's still nursing and he's only 8 months old, so extended time away from me is just not necessary. Am I really crazy?

1 comment:

ginabad said...

First of all, Kian is TOO CUTE!!!!

Second, I don't have the choice - I had to get daycare. The only person who can take care of my kids is my mother-in-law, and I'll try to be kind but she could kind of care less if they watched TV 24-7. (In fact, now she puts them in front of her portable DVD player while she watches her own movie!!)

Both my kids are special needs, and daycare is turning out to be good for at least one of them. (The other will be in kindergarten in August, so I'm not worried.) It IS an adjustment, but it's also good for your boy to get used to structures and routines (my biggest mistake with my 5 year old - she hates routine!)

Look, call around, listen to your instincts, and download one of those "daycare checklists" about questions you should ask before your start paying TUITION. Also review vacation and day off policies - I have to pay EVERY week, no matter what, except for 1 vacation week per year.

good luck and thanks for linking to me! I'll return the favor soon,
gina b