Krusty: So, have a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a kwaazy Kwanza, a tip-top Tet, and a solemn, dignified, Ramadan. And now a word from MY god, our sponsors!
Bart: Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
Marge: Alright, children. Let me have those letters and I'll send them to Santa's workshop in the North Pole.
Bart: Oh please, there's only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain't Santa.
Marge: Dear Friends of the Simpson Family, We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to Kitty Heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grampa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's and Bart... well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all. Homer sends his love. Happy Holidays, The Simpsons.