Week Three: Glad it's over!

This is about the time I start to miss being pregnant, just a little bit. And this past week, let me tell you, I wish I was still carrying that baby inside because at least I'd have some hands free to deal with Kian.

Kian had a very rough week, last week. Mostly, in that his ears did not work, he couldn't listen for anything. And he's usually a better listener than that, being two and all you know, you can only expect so much. The novelty of the 'new' baby must have worn off. He suddenly realized "hey, mommy's stuck on the couch feeding the baby, I can do lots and lots of things. I can pretend I don't hear her, or do exactly the opposite of what she asked me to do, and she can't do a thing about it! hahaha". I'm pretty sure those were the thoughts I heard in his head. We learned a long time ago you can't say to Kian "don't....." because he'll turn around and do it immediately. You have to phrase things differently to get him to want to obey. He's a tester, but he does it so pleasantly, it's a very difficult thing to discipline. But, he's had his share of time-outs this week. I even spanked him because I couldn't handle myself anymore and I reacted (not the way I want to discipline, especially spanking). You know what he did? He laughed in my face and ran away. I know old school discipline would say I didn't hit him hard enough and do it again right? Nope. No, no, no. I"ve learned for him the best discipline is taking away his toy or privilege, not spanking or time-outs and certainly not yelling. That is way more affective on him than any time out. He just sits in time-out and counts (11, 13, 14, 16, 18, 20, okay... Soooorry!) and gets up.

It also takes effort on my part, even tired as I am, to calm down, get on his level and speak very calmly. If I raise my voice or he hears the annoyance and irritation in it he knows he's got me and he kicks it up a notch. It will be interesting to see how Karter's personality plays out after Kian. Kian likes to hear the entire explanation of things (no, you cannot touch the knife, it will cut you and you will bleed, instead of "don't touch the knife"). It's a curiosity that will serve him well in his education, school years and beyond, I'm sure. It's us finding a way of cultivating that while reigning in some other pieces. We've begun talking about being respectful, kind, polite and all the emotions so he has more understanding of why we do things and don't do things. It's starting to kick in. So, there was a lot of laughing and crying, all in one, this week. Mostly from me, not him.

Karter is doing well. He's very alert when he decides to be awake. Which, is part of the problem. He likes to be awake from 7/8 am to 10 am or so, and then from 8/9pm for a couple hours. He still is mixed up with days and nights, as he sleeps 4-5 hours during the day and I am waking him up to eat. But, at night he wakes up every 3 hours on the minute to eat. And when he's awake those times, he wants to eat every half hour to hour. It's a catch-22, really. When he sleeps those chunks, it lets me do things with Kian, an art project, catch up on laundry, cook with Kian, etc. But, then I get woken up a lot at night. Kian was so textbook baby, ate every three hours, nursed the exact amount of minutes each time, that I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do about this one. But, he's still so little and I know his days and nights will be figured out soon. Except the dark, dreary, rainy days don't help by hiding all the sunlight!

When he's awake he is starting to give us little half-smiles. He gave me a real smile Saturday after I left him in the car with my mom for awhile to run in the store. He is starting to coo and "talk" as Kian says, especially when Kian is being gentle and talking softly too him. He holds his head up pretty good when he's upright, loves to look around. He loves to be warm and swaddled. Kian could have cared less about being swaddled the few days after he came home. But, not Karter, he fusses if he gets cold at night, or if his hands and face are chilled, and usually ends up tucked in next to me to stay warmer. His eating habits are different and interesting. He gags and chokes easily while eating, and needs to be upright for a bit after eating. Not exactly like reflux, because it would be much worse, but probably a slight bit of it. Which, may or may not be from the dairy elimination diet we're trying. He does better when I don't have any dairy in my system. It's not easy, as every food has some random part of milk or milk protein in it! Shopping just got a lot more fun... So, he takes lots of breaks and burps a lot, which makes for extended nursing sessions, hence Kian taking advantage of my being stuck there.



I found exhaustion caught up with me. With Kian, I could sleep whenever he did, there wasn't as much laundry, no food to prepare for anyone but me, no toys to trip over or other kids to chase after. Now, I can't just nap unless they both are, and Kian needs potty time and meal time and to have something that resembles a routine. I felt so great after Karter was born I just ran with it and was doing dumb things like mopping floors. I should have rested a lot more, because it caught up with me and I haven't yet got back that sleep I missed. We'll get there... we're finding things to do with Kian-art projects during the week here at home, going to make a weekly library trip, and soon there will be a gym class I can take him too once a week. He needs to get out and be around kids, as that was a huge change for him from full-time daycare with packed, busy days, to lounging around the house. But, he tells me he doesn't want to go to school, just "stay home with mommy and baby Karter". Sounds good to me.

It's just too much

It's a good thing that Kian is incredibly cute, smart and entertaining; because some days I think I'm going to go nuts with his not listening and other toddler antics.

Yesterday he says to me "McQueen got hurt."
Me: That's too bad. Is he okay?
Kian: Yeah. He needs an elbow.
Me: Oh, he does? Hmm...where should we get one?
Kian: At the church.
Ok! I never knew the church provided elbows, especially for vehicles that never had them in the first place =)

Let me preface this by saying, we went to Toys R Us last night for a couple of good sales. While there, he saw all the Cars Movie toys, vehicles and some of the Mack trucks. One was very large and one was a regular Matchbox size. I told him we couldn't get the big one because it was too large and we didn't have enough money. I told him that maybe I'd look at another store and get him some Cars vehicles for Christmas. He's only seen the movie a couple times, for treats with daddy or grandparents (popcorn included!) but is pretty much obsessed with the vehicles. Typical boy.

Then saying his prayers last night, I asked him what he wanted to thank God for. This is his prayer, verbatim:
Thank you God for food, for my toys, Thank you God for McQueen. Thank you God for Mack. Thank you God for big Mack and thank you God for little Mack.

At this point, I jump in and ask if he'd like to pray for a person? He says "Yes, thank you God for NeeNee. Amen."

Week 2: adjusting and settling in

So, you've noticed my blogging has been short and sporadic. Except you haven't, because no one really reads my blogs. Well, the last two weeks, Karter's first two weeks, have been a definite adjustment-not in a bad way, and learning how to settle in with two boys and all the daily routines.

Let me just start by saying I totally freaked out this morning because I had to get up, get showered, get both boys dressed, fed and have Karter to the doctor...at 10:45. I know, I know! That's not early. But, that's my point! Because, I realized that going back to work would mean all that and so much more, and earlier. Ooooooh! Yeah, that royally stinks. But, I reminded myself, we still don't have much of a routine yet and in a few months Karter will have more of a 'schedule'--but don't look at me to have none of that Babywise crap scheduled for my babies!

(so excited Karter's in his bed with him)

Anyway, Kian is doing as well as can be expected. No tantrums, no jealousy (yet?) he just loves his baby brother. Or, as he says "my baby". He yells at the cats "don't see my baby brother!" He wants to hold him and kiss him and touch him and show him everything all the time. It's very sweet. I'm glad he's not angry or jealous, but there are a few issues we are having. He seems to have great days with potty training and then horrible days where he just wets all day long. He even pooped his pants once this week. He has been asking for a diaper (still refuses to go on the toilet, and right now, with all my "energy" I am fine with him asking for a diaper for poop, and just dealing with that part later) but then he just went in his underwear one morning. And, I'm not entirely sure, but I feel like Kian is having this issue mostly when he's with me. He went to grandma's for the morning and stayed dry, same as when she was here and I took Karter to the doctor. With Kevin, it's hit or miss. So, it may be a "you aren't giving me the attention you used to mommy" thing or that I can't just get up and take him; he used to take himself.
But, I'd rather have some wet underpants than a jealous toddler who wants to beat up the baby. He also likes to whine "I want mommy!" for everything lately. So, I am trying to spend even just a few minutes each day with him, without the baby in my arms. We've done a little painting, made some brownies, and I make sure that at night Kevin takes Karter downstairs and I spend about 10 minutes with Kian in bed-saying prayers, singing, or just snuggling. I know in a few weeks when things are more routine he'll be better and we'll have it figured out more.

(look at all that hair!!)

Karter is doing well. He went in for a 2 week check up and he's up to 8 lbs. and 9 oz. He had lost some and was down to about 7-12ish. So, he gained all that he lost and then some in the last week and a half. His umbilical cord stump (ew) fell off at 4 days and it healed nicely. He is no longer looking yellow and his eyes are finally getting rid of all the blood spots. They don't have any concerns with that; or any concerns with his heart or anything else. All those concerns in utero and the last month were for naught I guess. Thank you God! He's healthy and happy (as happy as a 2 week old can be I guess?) and sleeping in decent chunks of time. He loves to be awake from 8-10 or 11 am, then zonk out for 3-4 hours, waking only to eat until about 7 or 8 at night. Then he stays awake for another 2-3 hours and sleeps about 4 hour chunks at night. So, it's working rather well. He does love to eat every 30-60 mins while he's awake those large periods of time in the am and pm. I've gone to a dairy-free (milk free) diet because he was having some diarrhea and lots of spitting up/puking and not wanting to eat. It seems to have helped, he's no longer doing those things, and obviously growing!

Karter really only cries when he's starving and wants to "eat right now because it's been a few hours". He fusses and whimpers a bit at night or during the day if he's been in the bouncy seat or bassinet for too long. He loves to be held close and snuggled up, wrapped up tight and warm. He spends half the night in our bed with me, and for now it works for all of us to get more sleep.

Kevin's been working, but gets out some days fairly early, about the time Kian wakes up from his nap, so that is good for me. He's taken Kian for ice cream one night and fishing for an hour another day. It helps, but I think what Kian wants is alone time with me, so I'm working on that. I might even just take him to Wegmans with me for groceries this weekend so he can have mommy all to himself. The only thing that is lacking is housework and laundry. I totally forgot how much laundry a newborn makes! All that pooping and spitting up! And of course, Kian's accidents add to that. Oh well.



I'm still attempting to stand by my 'no tv rule' but it's hard when grandmas and daddy turn it on so they can have some peace and quiet. I told them if they do that it can only be one show per day and told them which ones were okay and not okay. Like anyone listens to me! But, when it's just mommy here, there's no tv on. Okay, except the last part of Rachel Ray so I can get some quick, easy dinner ideas! Other than that, we have not had it on. Kian's been playing playdoh, painted some, coloring a lot and back into his puzzles a lot lately. He spelled the word 'cookie' while looking at a Cookie Monster book the other day, made me proud-even if he doesn't know it meant cookie, he knew all the letters!

(A comparison of the two boys, each 2 weeks old)

I think they look different, like brothers, sure, but different. Karter's head is actually longer, Kian's was more rounded. Kian's hair was lighter and had a funky widow's peak hairline. And poor Karter has a much bigger nose, and bruising to go with it. =) But he's had that chubby double chin since birth, Kian had to work up to that one!

Had enough yet?

I am working on a post about something other than Kian's funny sayings. I just haven't had much time to sit and type more than a few sentences, you know between the feedings and changings and potty training and food-making and more feedings and more changings...

This morning, he runs into my room at 7 am sharp (his new wake-up time) to "see my baby". He climbs on the bed, screeching this high-pitched squawk. I ask him to be quiet because the baby (and me!) is sleeping. He says "I can't mommy, I'm a mouse". I ask him "oh, so that's a mouse squeaking? Well, mice squeak quietly". He did try to squeak/squawk quietly, but it didn't work so well.

He then leans over Karter, waving his hands and going "ta da! ta da!" I ask him what he is doing and he says "waking him up". Of course, it only makes sense to do magic to wake up the baby, because the squawking wasn't enough!"

And how did he know, who taught him about magic and tada anyway? The tv certainly hasn't been on this week and he doesn't have any books about that...

Last night, he grabs his clean pillowcase from the laundry and steps into it. He pulls it up to his waist, looks at us and goes "I'm Jesus!"

Must be all the Bible stories with pictures of Jesus in his robes? Honestly, I am not sure where he gets all this stuff. But, it's darn entertaining, that's for sure. And being exhausted and a little overwhelmed right now, I enjoy it...even though this 26 month old child has the vocabulary and conversational skills of a three year old and it makes my head spin!

More Kian-isms

While we adjust and settle in after Karter's arrival, you'll have to just be satisfied with random posts of pictures and snippets here and there.

Yesterday while Kian and I went to get the mail, he ran down the driveway towards the road. I said "Kian, stop! Do not run in the road."

His reply?

"But, I'm a racecar mommy!"

Yes, Kian, I know you're a racecar, but you need to stop in the driveway or get on the grass, do not run in the road. I do not want you to get hurt by cars.

"But, mommy! I'm a racecar!"

What do you say to that? =)

Karter Pics

The baby who wanted to prove everyone wrong...

Yes, I double and triple-cross my updates and blogs so that everyone has probably heard of or read the same thing too many times. Too bad for you!

You're all aware that Karter Ryan made his arrival Thursday night 9/3 (on his uncle's birthday, and also sharing a birthday with our friends' new little girl). And you all have read about or heard about all the testing and concerns surrounding this boy. He was diagnosed in utero with a 2 vessel cord (single umbilical artery) and an echogenic heart focus. The focus resolved itself in the third trimester, as seems to be common. The 2 vessel cord continued to be monitored, especially for fetal growth, throughout the pregnancy.

Karter also liked to be a stinker, a stubborn little fellow and throw us all for a loop by every few weeks refusing to budge or hardly move for a few days. This would call for lots more testing, ultrasounds, biophysical profiles and non-stress tests. He'd fail one, pass the next one immediately with flying colors, and so on. I guess he doesn't like to be predictable.

One week ago, I was 3cm dilated and having random contractions. I told Kevin that I wanted a natural birth, not induced and that I didn't want to get to the hospital until I was 6 cm. God was listening I guess. Thursday morning I went in for my regular prenatal visit, after 3 tests in the last week. Some were good, some were not so good. We had been seen by 4 doctors that week and they were all not happy with his results and with me for declining an induction on August 28th. At this Thursday's appointment I was 5 cm and they were adamant about getting this baby out very soon. They were worried about his growth, movement, his failing tests, etc. Said that the cord and placenta might be compromised, etc.

Against my previous wishes, I agreed to come in for them to break my water and see if I went into labor on my own. They agreed to no pitocin yet and to monitor the baby, but that I could be free to move around and not hooked up to an IV. This was my biggest concern from last time with the pitocin-induced labor and all the monitoring, I couldn't move and labor how I needed to. I went home, made the calls, made sure we were all packed, made arrangements for Kian, etc. Kevin and I went into Strong just before 5, got a room at 5 pm. By the time all the paperwork and admissions stuff was completed it was nearly 6 pm. My mother, we all know how late she is, was supposed to be there by then.

At 6 o'clock my doctor broke my water, I was already 6-7 cm--see, God was listening to my wishes =) We monitored for a few minutes and then they let me get up and do what I wanted to do. Contractions started immediately, coming every few minutes and getting more intense each time. I asked to get in the tub to hep with the back labor. Kevin did come counter-pressure on my back through about 3 contractions. Then as they were getting more intense I asked the nurse to do the sterile water injections in my back. It took them awhile to come do that and my OB did it with her. Last time it totally made my back labor pain go away. This time, not so much. I was getting shaky and my OB said I was in transition and I must be close to 10 cm. My mom arrived just before this, almost missing the entire thing. You think that would teach her to be on time...

I thought I had to pee, but when I stood up and then sat down I felt lots of pressure. They rushed me right over to the bed and we started pushing. Last time, I was so tired and confused I just did what they told me, when they told me, without feeling it in my body. This time I was so aware of everything, felt every single pain and sensation I kind of hesitated pushing until they told me he was right there and it would only stop hurting after i pushed. =) So, I did and it was painful, but pretty quick. He was out and cried and peed immediately. Of course, such a boy. I asked my doctor how long did I actually push, she said "oh about 5 minutes". And the entire length of labor, less than an hour and a half. Wow.

She said he was much bigger than the 6lbs 10 oz ultrasound just claimed. She was right. They took him right over for a check up because he did indeed have the 2 vessel cord, but it did not stop his growth as they predicted, at 8 lbs 4 oz! And obviously, the cord didn't affect his kidneys or bladder as he peed immediately. I asked them if they thought he had Down Syndrome like they said was a possibility and they said no, no signs of that. His heart was perfect as well. All the testing and concerns they had and caused me to worry about, he is perfectly fine. The ped came in and said he was 'absolutely perfect, not one single worry'. We like her. He started and continues nursing like a champ. Hasn't stopped pooping since he was born. The nurse came to give him his first bath and while she was drying him off he pooped on her and the blankets, so she had to wash some more. I've changed 5 diapers right in a row, minutes apart today because he pooped as soon as I put a new one on! I guess that means all his systems are working just fine and he's eating great.

I always felt everything was fine with Karter, but I know the medical professionals err on the side of caution. They caused me a lot of worry too, but needlessly. He's continued his pattern of sleeping most of the day and wanting to be awake and eat and look around in the middle of the night, just as in utero. Which is why I suggested they come do their Biophyisicals and their non-stress tests at 4 am at my house to prove he was fine...they declined. Hopefully, he will switch his days and nights, but we're just happy he's perfect. Well, and that the bruising is going away. He came out so fast his head didn't even change shape and his face looked like he'd just met Muhammad Ali. They said all the bruising would mean jaundice. But, of course, Mr. Opposite, contradicted them with perfect bilirubin numbers. I think he's going to be trouble someday...

So, we got to go home at 24 hours instead of having to stay another night. Poor Kian couldn't take it that we were there and not home and he just wanted us all home. Luckily he's so in love with "baby brother Karter" and everything is going great. I feel awesome. I felt so horrible after Kian's birth, I couldn't do anything and was shaky all the time, felt like I had also stepped out of the ring with Ali. This time, I feel fantastic. Drug-free, fast, natural childbirth, using what I needed to deal with the pain helped so much. I'm tired from not getting much sleep, but not needing any pain meds, not feeling any pain. I don't mean to rub it in, but I'm amazed by the difference in the two births. I even vacuumed the floor today and put all Karter's new stuff away. So we are all doing awesome! Thanks to everyone for the thoughts, prayers and well wishes!

In case you're wondering...

I'm still here....