Yep, that's me. I'm a zombie these days. Although, I'm not quite sure exactly if that fits, because I don't go around terrorizing people after I came back from the dead, so perhaps there's a better description than that...
Anyway, I feel like I'm always walking around with those drunk glasses on that they made us try in high school. There's a permanent layer of fuzz surrounding me. Something happened when I went back to work. It wreaked havoc on my system, it keeps Karter up a lot, it causes sleeplessness and irritability. Really, it's just my job. It's called stress.
I've been grasping at straws lately to see what could be causing Karter to nurse every 2 hours around the clock, day or night, but yet seeming to eat very little, short times when he does. We are pretty much over the noisy, spitting reflux, unless I have dairy or spicy foods. Before I went back to work he was sleeping 5 hour stretches at night, waking once or twice to eat. Bliss compared to goings-on of late. I thought maybe it was because he missed me during the day and needed that touch or connection, but then why was it still happening on days I am home?
I was thinking that maybe something chemically is going on with him or I. The doctor wants me to get a blood draw to check for anemia and/or thyroid issues. I'm exhausted, I stumble over my words at times, but I can't always sleep, I am bruising very easy. Anemic, probably yes. Thyroid, probably not so much.
I've attempted to give him cereal at night (giving in to the old wives' tale that it makes babies sleep better, even though that never worked for Kian either) even though I had no intentions of giving this baby food yet. Guess what? He despises it, refuses it, and is not ready for it. (But let him near a whole banana and he's all over that!) And any bit that did get in his belly did not help him sleep better at all. I've let him cry a bit, I"ve rocked him, trying to stave off another feeding session in the middle of the night. But, all to no avail. It's frustrating to say the least.
Then, last night, it wasn't exactly an epiphany, but like the sunrise, slowly the light turned on, and I think we're on to something. I was talking with my mom about how exhausted I was, how Karter eats all night, but when I'm home still doesn't eat all that much during the day, how stressed I am, how this working thing is kicking my butt, etc. She said "you're stressed, he knows that and it's affecting his eating". Not so much as it passes into the milk but that he can feel my tension. Even the days I am home I am stressed because I am supposed to be "working from home" and trying to do many things at once. My frustration is at an all time high. But, at night, while sleeping, I am relaxed. No tense shoulders, no distractions by talking to Kian, on the phone or doing paperwork, no trying to make dinner, no tv, nothing. Just me and quiet.
So, I'm deciding it's either silent reflux (without the spitting and gagging, but still painful, that makes babies want to eat often to relieve the acid burn) or stress. At night he can eat all he wants without me being stressed and that affecting milk production and flow. Either one is difficult to "diagnose" and pinpoint, let alone treat. ha. It's either me or him, or actually it's probably me, both ways. I can't win. So, suggestions are welcome.