I didn't realize that I would feel the need to justify myself, or decisions made as a couple/family so often. It's pretty ridiculous. I don't make other people justify things they do, even though a lot of them don't make sense to me. So, here's things I am not going to justify anymore:
1. Size of our family/how many kids we have. I have heard and seen comments that "3 will be crazy/hard" and "why would you want more than 2?" and that I "got my way" with the third. Huh. Please refer to your 5th greade health lessons-it takes 2 willing and active particpants, and trust me, I didn't do this on my own. I know families with 1, 2, 4 and 9 kids. I will ask those with more than 2, especially the 9, which kids they are going to get rid of, because 2 is enough.
2. Pets. Yep, we have pets, cats, dogs, fish, chickens. We have the space in our home and our land for it. Guess what, I only brought home 1 cat, my husband brought home 2. If you don't like the fur and being around animals, then you don't have to come over.
3. Homeschooling. Like other things, not vaccinating, doctor's decisions, etc., Kevin and I discuss these things and come to conclusions together. He might defer to me on a lot of child rearing practices, but that is because he knows I research the heck out of everything and he trusts me. He trusts me to make the right decisions and he trusts me to take care of our kids the best way. Hmm, imagine that. He speaks up when he disagrees or gives his input and he helps show Kian other ways to do math, and on and on.
4. Our diet. God forbid we limit our kids candy, sugar, cake, juice, etc. We know the affects of these things on our kids, we know what the doctors recommend (4 oz of juice or less per day), we know how the body works, we know how and what our kids are allergic, sensitive and intolerant of when it comes to food. "A little won't hurt" may be true, or it might have long lasting affects. If you want to ignore our requests, then by all means, you can have Karter for the night after he's had sugar, dairy and chocolate and has the runs and can't sleep and his reflux comes back. For the record, we all prefer to drink water anyways.
*This also can refer to our "tv diet" and our limitations on tv, video games, etc. Again, you can have Kian after he's had hours of tv/video games and deal with that, mmkay?
*Oh and our car seat choices and positioning, I mean rear-facing so long? Gosh, in my day they didn't even have car seats!
*And oh boy, you let them sleep in your bed sometimes. You'll never break that habit.
5. The way we discipline. We have run the gamut of discipline techniques. Trust us. Some work, some don't. Some might work one month and have no effect the next. Kids change, behaviors change, parents change. There's also a lot of reasoning for behaviors and seeing the child behind the behaviors, and WHY the behavior happens is important, if not more, than just correcting and punishing it.
6. The way Kevin and I discuss things. We talk loud, we talk fast and sometimes snap at each other under pressure. So what? We have a lot more love and fun times and guess what, it's not any one's business anyways. If you and your spouse or family don't discuss emotions, or just retreat when stressed or angry, that's your right, just as it's our right to interact with each other the way we want.
There's probably more, but this list is making me exhausted and frustrated. As far as I know, as far as decision-making goes for our family, it is between Kevin and I. If we reach out and ask questions or advice, then stick to the topic at hand. I know people love to give unsolicited advice, and since becoming a parent, I've tried to reign in my own suggestions to others, lest they feel offended/put down or cornered, unless asked. There is plenty of discussing that goes on in our home, and it's not an open book, no one needs to know the hows and whys of all we do. I shouldn't have to even put this out there, but this is the last time. I respect those with 1 child or 9. If you feel it's best to spank or not, that's your choice. If you feel it's okay to give a toddler pepsi, that's your decision. I might not agree, and I'm open to questions about things, but not put downs or justifying how we live our lives in our home. Gosh, and I didn't even get into controversial things like politics and religion! ;)
*if you feel you want to file this under "crazy pregnant lady who had a painful nasal cauterization the other day rantings' , go ahead. but, it is what it is. I tell myself over and over, what my grandma told me "what other people say about you is none of your business." Then try to go on with my day.