World Breastfeeding week thoughts

If you were told there was one thing you could do to give your newly born baby immunities for up to 2 years of his life (or more) the fight future obesity, to help prevent him from getting diabetes, to prevent you from getting breast cancer, to keep his ear infections to none or very few in the first year of his life, that bottle-rot and rotten teeth would not occur, to give him the perfect nutrition, to keep him from getting diarrhea and rashes, to boost his IQ, and on the list goes...wouldn't people be lining up for this "wonder drug" or to get this "amazing vaccine"?

They would. They should. But, they aren't.

It's breastfeeding. The most natural, normal thing since the beginning of time. Yet, some "try" it, and even fewer stick with it. Yes, there are many reasons for that. But, I have to say this: As a parent, it's our job to sacrifice for our kids. You run out to get the driest diaper for their bums, the best clothes, all the vaccines so they stay healthy, search out the best day cares and schools and nannies...but the one thing that surpasses all that, parents (not just moms) toss aside as an inconvenience and figure formula is "just as good". It's not.

Now, I don't want to get into more controversy, because I know there really are women out there that have tried and not succeeded at nursing (I won't say failed, but they didn't fail their kids). And then there's the excuses. If you don't want to just say that. But, I laugh, cringe, sigh, and am even angry sometimes when I hear things from doctors, nurses and other medical "professionals" about formula being just as good and giving new moms reasons to not nurse. This is especially annoying when watching those baby stories, birth shows, etc. on tv.

"My milk didn't come in." Or some variation of, (wasn't coming in, took too long, etc.).

"I wasn't making enough."

"He was needing more than I could produce."

"I'm too small/big/something."

"He really only needs it the first few days." Or variation of time-week, month, 6 months, etc.

"He doesn't want to." (this is different from he isn't able to, which does truly happen.)

"He's getting too big/old for it."

"He needed formula to get rid of jaundice." (sigh, grr)

"I had to go back to work."

"I didn't get anything while pumping."

Etc.

Again, there are true supply problems and true latching problems and other medical conditions that can prevent mom and baby from a happy nursing relationship. However, the reasons I just listed, are usually forms of excuses or outs for them. Number one rule while nursing: if it is happy for you AND baby, then continue. If mom isn't happy with it, then baby will feel that and it will become a struggle, possibly painful, and unhappy time for both.

And, really it's not the moms' fault. Especially, new moms. They're taken advantage of by doctors who wants fast, speed, results, charts, graphs, etc. They want to take control of the delivery by drugs and surgeries on their time, not what's best for mom and baby. They want to see measures of intake by baby and the output and ounces and cc's and ml and so on. They dislike that breast milk straight from the breast isn't measurable. (Okay, not all doctors are that way, but a lot are that I've seen.)

New moms are told that the baby MUST have formula to keep his temperature up, his weight up, his blood sugar, get rid of jaundice, etc. WRONG, wrong wrong. None of that is true. They told me that they would need to give Karter some formula in a dropper because his blood sugar was low. He wasn't even an hour old and hadn't even nursed yet. I didn't want it, but they said it was "hospital policy". Malarkey. (heard that lately?) Thanks to my big mouth mom they didn't and I nursed him and astonishingly his blood sugar immediately when to where it should be. Hmmm, who knew that breast milk and colostrum was so magical? It actually did what it was supposed to do! How about that?! And when his jaundice was still going strong at 8 weeks, I told them before they even suggested that I wasn't doing formula to "get rid of it". And it went away just fine.

There are real physical breast issues that some moms face, but in general, you're never too small, too big, too anything for baby. Sure when he first comes out his head might be half the size of the breast he's eating from, but that won't last long.

It kills me when, on tv, the moms say "I tried breastfeeding but my milk wasn't coming in, so now he gets formula." Did NO ONE educate these moms that milk doesn't come in for at least 3 days? That colostrum is all a baby needs the first few days? These nurses and doctors who are caring for mom and baby in the hospital for 2-3 days forgot to or failed to mention that? Sigh. It's supply and demand-if he needs it, it will be there. Very rarely do moms not make enough. Growth spurt? Baby nurses mores, tells mom's body to make more, baby satisfied.

Pumping is a whole different issue. Some are able to pump and get a lot, some pump and pump and get barely a drop. That is vastly different from what the baby takes in by mouth from the breast. Babies are way more efficient than any man-made, plastic pump. So, for those who have to go back to work (which I have done a few times) pumping is an option, but most hate the thought of it (hence the sacrifices, I was speaking of...). But, there are those who pump and get nothing, yet nursing baby is happy, so they do supplement during the day, etc.

This post isn't to bash moms who can't successfully breastfeed (or get baby breast milk one way or another). It isn't to criticize moms who choose not to. If that's what they choose, it's what they choose, and any guilt-inducing, bashing, or forcing just makes matters worse. It's to point out that as parents we make decisions for our children and the very first, and best one is either misguided, not explained, not discussed, not supported, misunderstood by new moms and their doctors, nurses, pediatricians. My experience was that I had already set my mind to breastfeeding at all costs and I read books and sites online about it as I prepared for it. But, sadly, I think it was just in passing that my OB asked what I was going to do, breast or bottle? The pediatrician may have asked at the initial pre-baby consult, but I don't remember. When I said 'breast', most medical professionals I dealt with just nodded and said "good." No one asked if I was taking a prep class, or had a book on it, or had the number of a lactation consultant, or anything. I think there was a pamphlet in the folder from the OB about it, but that was about it.

For every mom on the fence, or not realizing the greatness of breast milk, an experience (or non experience) like mine, would be easily influenced to choose formula. I know that in your head you're saying "wars, economy, statistics, numbers, unemployment, starving people in the streets losing their homes, and you're worried about education on breastfeeding?" Yes. I worry about other things too. But, I've seen what it can do. I've seen my boys barely get sick. I've seen my milk allergic baby thrive on it. I've seen and felt the bond with them. I've suffered pumping and not sharing feeding duties-especially at night. And there are days I groan "you want to eat again?" or just don't want to do it.

Statistics prove breastfed babies are healthier overall, now and in the future. Just as important as getting him in the "right" preschool, is beginning his nutrition and his life the best way. Something to think about. Something doctors and nurses and big companies who thrive on new moms' naivety and money should think about. But then again, they wouldn't be making the big bucks if no infants had multiple ear infections and tubes, or sucked down Similac by the gallon, would they?

Adventures in eating

So, Karter's started eating some solid foods. I know my ways are a little different from the norm, but also in a growing movement of baby feeding across the nation. But, also how babies are fed worldwide is very different than here, this jarred food stuff is an American thing. So, we will navigate it one food, one step at a time, and with a lot less worry.

I waited longer this time around, which is closer to the AAP guidelines for solids foods (6 months) even though doctors tell you to go ahead at 4 months, conflicting anyone? When he started grabbing things and eating them, I figured that was his sign he was ready. With Kian I started around 5 months with some purees that I made from fruits and vegetables. Because i do lots of reading (read: obsessed with Internet) I had come across the child-led feeding/weaning school of thought. I was intrigued and incorporated both in my feeding of Kian. At one meal he'd have rice cereal with peaches and also be gnawing on a broccoli stalk. Kian was easy, wanted to eat anything and everything, nothing bothered him, not flavors, not textures, etc. So, it worked and by 9 months he was eating mostly along with us, purees left in the dust by then. Easy, peasy.

Things are a bit different with Karter as he has the milk allergy and the reflux still pops up from time to time. Yes, still. They say milk allergy can disappear at 6 mos, 1 year, 3 years or never. Well, he's about 6 months and guess what, I tested it again and still tons of spitting up, gurgly reflux that night and nasty diapers. We really aren't missing the dairy, except occasionally when I see someone with a steamy, gooey piece of pizza. Knowing his system was already sensitive, I held off on trying solids. Until that fateful night, holding them both on my lap, Kian's banana in my hand, in front of Karter's face. Chomp. He was in love. He went to town. Then a few nights later he grabbed my cracker and devoured it before I even noticed. All in the mouth, not fell on the floor like I thought. Okay, so he's ready for food, let's try this.

Let me interject on myself here and explain why I love this child-led feeding so much. For one, it's easier, on your time, energy, and wallet. No extra foods to buy, no special jars or toddler foods (that, my friends, is just a cash gimmick. No reason gerber needed to make "toddler foods" except for more moola, but that's another post.) whatever baby eats should already be in your home. No need to prepare anything extra on top of what you're already making for the rest of the family. I just take out a portion before adding any salt or spicy seasonings to the meal and it's "baby friendly".
Second, in working at daycares and in Early Intervention, there are a TON of kids who have texture issues, who have oral motor problems, etc. Why? one school of thought is that these pureed foods don't lend to learning how to chew properly (you just suck if off the spoon, like soup, no jaw movement involved). Also, giving a baby soft, mushy foods for months, then throwing adult-like food at them can be confusing and they will continue to prefer the soft textures and resist anything chunky, clumpy, crunchy, etc. And another thing, you don't sit there and push mashed, stinky peas in their mouth, spit it out, push it in, spit it out, over and over. You give the child the control over eating. Since breastmilk (or formula) should be their man nutrition for the first year, you don't need to worry about how many tablespoons of x,y,z they just ate. You read their cues on hunger. This also helps with diet and portion control later in life.

Okay, so, yeah. Baby-led. Let's also be honest, I don't have time to try to shove jar food in his mouth or make my own this time around as much as I would like, working and all. Superwoman, I am not. Besides, this boy, he loves his mama milk and is just all about tasting things for now. So, how does it work? Why did I decide this route? Because after the banana incident, I tried oatmeal. I tried it 1. because I fell prey to the old wives' tale that it would make him sleep better at night (didn't work for Kian either) and 2. I figured that was the next step I should take. Wrong. After several attempts at oatmeal and rice, with or without banana, he spit it out and refused. And I began noticing he was chewing. Chewing the oatmeal that really couldn't be chewed. I gave him a whole banana. He chewed and chomped and sucked and mashed and ate some, but mostly just tasted. Afterall, tasting is only one of the senses involved in eating. At a restaurant you want your food to look and smell good too, right? Then he tried a cocopop and loved it. Perfect baby food, by the way, rice, corn, melts in your mouth.
*Research shows that babies have a very sensitive gag-reflex. This means that if something too big comes in contact with the back of their throat they will gag it out. Not vomit it, not choke on it. It won't become stuck in their windpipe or esophagus because they gag it out before it even gets close. If it's small enough, it goes down nicely. This is why you can give them real foods and not worry about them choking, their built-in gag-reflex keeps it safe. (most of the time, granted you still have to be careful, you know, common sense!) Karter did gag out a piece of banana that was too big, then continued eating the rest of it.

Karter tries some food about once a day. Not even every day. We had rice for dinner, he tried some of that. He sucked on a plain piece of chicken. He had some carrots that were in our pot roast. He had some chunks of avocado and mango. At this point, the bigger the chunks, the better so he can grab and gnaw at it. Besides the obvious dairy, egg, nut, and tomato (too acidic) there's not much that's off limits. Think about it, in Japan they're eating fish, rice, sushi, etc. In third world countries where there is no such thing as jars of baby food, they eat warthog, native vegetables, whatever is it that the family eats. =) And, it works for us. It's less time consuming. It's less money on my grocery bill (well until he gets a big appetite like Kian and Kevin!) and it allows Karter to take the lead on what and how much he wants to eat and he gets real food from the get to, no transitioning over from pureed to chunky to table foods. And these days, I need easy!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby-led_weaning

*Many parents are used to the idea of giving babies puréed food and to some, giving such a young child finger food might sound dangerous. However, babies weaned using the baby-led method are actually less likely to choke on their food, as they are not capable of moving food from the front of the mouth to the back until they have learned to chew ^[1]. In turn, they do not learn to chew until they have learned to grasp objects and place them in their mouth. Therefore the baby's general development keeps pace with her ability to manage food.

If a child gets a piece of food too far back in their mouth, they will generally promptly clear it themselves by gagging or coughing the piece out ^[1].

Food should not be placed in the baby's mouth for him or her. If the baby is unable to pick up and grasp the food, it is believed that the baby will also be unable to cope with chewing and swallowing it. It is also very important that the baby is sitting up straight and well supported during mealtimes and never left unattended while self-feeding.

I am...

I am that mom who:

lets my babies sleep on their stomach sometimes during naps

puts blankets on my babies and in their cribs

has stuffed animals in my babies cribs

co-sleeps with my newborns and infants, and lets my toddler come in when he wants to

won't give my baby a bottle "just so he can learn to take it"

skips pureed baby foods and goes straight to solids (or makes my own mashed foods)

won't vaccinate my babies

slings them, and totes them around in carriers instead of car seats and strollers

lets fevers break rather than give tons of tylenol

doesn't give antibiotics for ear infections or chemical gels for teething

I am... a pediatrician's worst nightmare.  =D  

Stuck in the middle with you

Stuck in the middle alright. The middle of my pants. My old "fat" pants are too big and fall off my butt when I walk. But, my "skinnier" pants don't fit yet either. My old fat pants are ones I had just before I was pregnant with Kian and then for awhile after. My newer "skinnier" pants are ones I was wearing right before I got pregnant with Karter. I worked out more and lost more weight right before getting pregnant, of course. 'Cause that's just how life works.

I need to find some time to lose those extra pounds so I can fit into my nicer clothes again. I must have been darn lazy after I had Kian and must have sat around doing nothing, because it took me forever to lose the baby weight. It wasn't until I really regimented myself into an intense workout for a month straight that it started to budge, then started coming off easier. I would lose a pound here or there but didn't try until he was 6 months old. That's not happening this time. Mostly because I have nothing to wear right now, well shirts fit no matter what, but pants... ugh! I know it's because I'm running after a toddler and not just sitting around watching tv and nursing like last time, that I am losing this weight faster without trying too hard. The nursing definitely helps with the weight loss though.

But, also over the last couple years we continue to eat healthier. There is so much less junk, carbs, processed food and so much more fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables. I also make things more from scratch now instead of eating out or buying pre-made. And drinks, that was the easiest, and often overlooked change--drinks. We buy milk/rice milk, one carton of OJ, and sometimes a cider or grape juice. That's it. No pop, soda, no iced tea or lemonades or mixed drinks, no snapples or sunnyD, etc. We drink lots of water. And I know that the outside work and extra walks we take counts towards calorie burning.

So, I know I"ll lose the 'baby weight' soon, and hopefully more! And penny pinching me really doesn't want to buy new pants for "just awhile" so, for now, I'm just stuck in the middle....

The baby who wanted to prove everyone wrong...

Yes, I double and triple-cross my updates and blogs so that everyone has probably heard of or read the same thing too many times. Too bad for you!

You're all aware that Karter Ryan made his arrival Thursday night 9/3 (on his uncle's birthday, and also sharing a birthday with our friends' new little girl). And you all have read about or heard about all the testing and concerns surrounding this boy. He was diagnosed in utero with a 2 vessel cord (single umbilical artery) and an echogenic heart focus. The focus resolved itself in the third trimester, as seems to be common. The 2 vessel cord continued to be monitored, especially for fetal growth, throughout the pregnancy.

Karter also liked to be a stinker, a stubborn little fellow and throw us all for a loop by every few weeks refusing to budge or hardly move for a few days. This would call for lots more testing, ultrasounds, biophysical profiles and non-stress tests. He'd fail one, pass the next one immediately with flying colors, and so on. I guess he doesn't like to be predictable.

One week ago, I was 3cm dilated and having random contractions. I told Kevin that I wanted a natural birth, not induced and that I didn't want to get to the hospital until I was 6 cm. God was listening I guess. Thursday morning I went in for my regular prenatal visit, after 3 tests in the last week. Some were good, some were not so good. We had been seen by 4 doctors that week and they were all not happy with his results and with me for declining an induction on August 28th. At this Thursday's appointment I was 5 cm and they were adamant about getting this baby out very soon. They were worried about his growth, movement, his failing tests, etc. Said that the cord and placenta might be compromised, etc.

Against my previous wishes, I agreed to come in for them to break my water and see if I went into labor on my own. They agreed to no pitocin yet and to monitor the baby, but that I could be free to move around and not hooked up to an IV. This was my biggest concern from last time with the pitocin-induced labor and all the monitoring, I couldn't move and labor how I needed to. I went home, made the calls, made sure we were all packed, made arrangements for Kian, etc. Kevin and I went into Strong just before 5, got a room at 5 pm. By the time all the paperwork and admissions stuff was completed it was nearly 6 pm. My mother, we all know how late she is, was supposed to be there by then.

At 6 o'clock my doctor broke my water, I was already 6-7 cm--see, God was listening to my wishes =) We monitored for a few minutes and then they let me get up and do what I wanted to do. Contractions started immediately, coming every few minutes and getting more intense each time. I asked to get in the tub to hep with the back labor. Kevin did come counter-pressure on my back through about 3 contractions. Then as they were getting more intense I asked the nurse to do the sterile water injections in my back. It took them awhile to come do that and my OB did it with her. Last time it totally made my back labor pain go away. This time, not so much. I was getting shaky and my OB said I was in transition and I must be close to 10 cm. My mom arrived just before this, almost missing the entire thing. You think that would teach her to be on time...

I thought I had to pee, but when I stood up and then sat down I felt lots of pressure. They rushed me right over to the bed and we started pushing. Last time, I was so tired and confused I just did what they told me, when they told me, without feeling it in my body. This time I was so aware of everything, felt every single pain and sensation I kind of hesitated pushing until they told me he was right there and it would only stop hurting after i pushed. =) So, I did and it was painful, but pretty quick. He was out and cried and peed immediately. Of course, such a boy. I asked my doctor how long did I actually push, she said "oh about 5 minutes". And the entire length of labor, less than an hour and a half. Wow.

She said he was much bigger than the 6lbs 10 oz ultrasound just claimed. She was right. They took him right over for a check up because he did indeed have the 2 vessel cord, but it did not stop his growth as they predicted, at 8 lbs 4 oz! And obviously, the cord didn't affect his kidneys or bladder as he peed immediately. I asked them if they thought he had Down Syndrome like they said was a possibility and they said no, no signs of that. His heart was perfect as well. All the testing and concerns they had and caused me to worry about, he is perfectly fine. The ped came in and said he was 'absolutely perfect, not one single worry'. We like her. He started and continues nursing like a champ. Hasn't stopped pooping since he was born. The nurse came to give him his first bath and while she was drying him off he pooped on her and the blankets, so she had to wash some more. I've changed 5 diapers right in a row, minutes apart today because he pooped as soon as I put a new one on! I guess that means all his systems are working just fine and he's eating great.

I always felt everything was fine with Karter, but I know the medical professionals err on the side of caution. They caused me a lot of worry too, but needlessly. He's continued his pattern of sleeping most of the day and wanting to be awake and eat and look around in the middle of the night, just as in utero. Which is why I suggested they come do their Biophyisicals and their non-stress tests at 4 am at my house to prove he was fine...they declined. Hopefully, he will switch his days and nights, but we're just happy he's perfect. Well, and that the bruising is going away. He came out so fast his head didn't even change shape and his face looked like he'd just met Muhammad Ali. They said all the bruising would mean jaundice. But, of course, Mr. Opposite, contradicted them with perfect bilirubin numbers. I think he's going to be trouble someday...

So, we got to go home at 24 hours instead of having to stay another night. Poor Kian couldn't take it that we were there and not home and he just wanted us all home. Luckily he's so in love with "baby brother Karter" and everything is going great. I feel awesome. I felt so horrible after Kian's birth, I couldn't do anything and was shaky all the time, felt like I had also stepped out of the ring with Ali. This time, I feel fantastic. Drug-free, fast, natural childbirth, using what I needed to deal with the pain helped so much. I'm tired from not getting much sleep, but not needing any pain meds, not feeling any pain. I don't mean to rub it in, but I'm amazed by the difference in the two births. I even vacuumed the floor today and put all Karter's new stuff away. So we are all doing awesome! Thanks to everyone for the thoughts, prayers and well wishes!

Pictures

It's that time again...game guessing time!

We did this with Kian and it was quite fun to see the responses. So, I'll do it again for baby #2.

Go there and register your guesses on birth date, weight, height, etc. Maybe I'll come up with an actual prize this time for whoever (whomever?) is closest!

Preparations

Well, I think we're about as prepared for this baby as can be. We have all the "gear" from last time. Half of it we didn't use with Kian and I don't believe we'll use this time either, but I could be wrong. We used the swing exactly 4 times with Kian and the exersaucer about the same. He was just as content to sit with us or to play on the floor, and slept just fine in his bassinet or crib so we didn't employ many devices to assist us. But, this baby may have the complete opposite personality than Kian- "like cheese and chalk" my Irish client told me. That made me giggle, and I loved hearing his accent saying it.

Our pack-n-play was recalled from Kian so we returned the pieces of it and bought a new one. This one is slightly smaller, but is easier to push around from room to room and fits through doorways, which is a plus. The clothes are washed and in the dresser. The diapers are stocked. The bags are packed. The bedding is all prepared, on the bed and in the bassinet. Lists are made and checked off.

I need to install the carseat in the van and make sure it fits next to Kian's properly. That's about the only thing I can think of to physically do before he arrives. Everything else is purely emotional and mental preparation. We've tried to get Kian as prepared as he can be. He is in love with 'baby brother' in my belly: reads to him, tries to feed him, gives him his animals, etc. Tells me what baby brother likes and doesn't like, talks and sings to him; yesterday he finally fell asleep for a nap after I laid down with him and he had to have his arm around baby brother and sleep with him he told me. He cups his hands under my belly and tells me he's "holding my baby brother". TOO cute!

But, as for having a "real" crying, needy baby in the house? We'll see. Not to dampen his enthusiasm but for every thing he says about baby brother I tell him that he will cry, will need mommy to hold him, change his diaper, etc. We'll see how much of it sinks in! But, he has been practicing holding Rocky "like hold baby brother". The cat puts up with is, which is great.

Kevin's getting that anxious, nervous, freak out period again, just like right before Kian was born. He's short tempered, irritable. You know, the male version of PMS. I think the thought of 2 is throwing him and he's afraid we'll never have a single second of peace and quiet, or alone time again. Which we know isn't true, and I tried to tell him that. He'll get over it as soon as the baby is born, just like last time. And he's just so thrilled that we're having another boy, I think he'll be over the moon. I tell him to shush as he is not the one who has to do all the work to get this baby out anyway!

But, I'd better go check my list just one more time...

The List, The Plan

So, last time we were at the hospital with Kian we didn't have a plan. Oh, we had a birth plan, and that got thrown out the window. The plan I mean is the one on how, when and who was going to do the contacting of everyone (family and friends) about Kian's arrival. We never gave it a thought and relied on our parents and friends to pass the words. That didn't work so well, as there was several family and friends that didn't get the message until a few days later. Bummer. You should have just been like Jon I guess and called straight to the hospital =)

This time around we're thinking about a better way to pass the information. There are a lot more options this time: we could send a picture/text to many people, we can designate a "caller" or "emailer". But, the best is that since Kian's birth Strong now has wifi at the hospital. And, we have a laptop. Genius. So, compiling a list of email addresses to take with us is one thing on our list of "to-do's". Another is to put the camera upload program onto Kevin's laptop so we can instantly send pictures of the baby along with that email. Babycenter.com also offers free announcement email cards, all we have to do is fill out the info and attach a picture. So many options this time.

Realizing that we have about 9 or less weeks (I'm feeling less) left before baby's arrival I started making a list of things to do. That's not much time really, if you think about it.

Picture program on computer
List of email addresses and phone numbers
Pack my bag
Pack baby's bag, along with things for Kian
Figure out what we're doing with Kian (we want him there and involved as much as possible)
Make and freeze some dinners/buy some easy cook meals/dishes
Put car seat back together (we took all the fabric off to wash and clean out after Kian was done)
Install car seat in van (and figure out the seating arrangement with the two of them)
Write up birth plan--again
Talk with doctor about my plan
One more ultrasound on 8/5/09
Hit up someone to clean the bathtub for me in a few weeks =D
Buy a new bra--oh you didn't want to hear that? sorry.
Steam clean the carpet in the family room, yes it needs it badly.
Take Kian to Build-A-Bear to make something for the baby

and probably other things I'm forgetting... like how I want to pick raspberries and blueberries and make jam... yeah... it's called nesting. =)

Baby's room

Baby's room is pretty much finished. Well, we do need a closet door or fabric or something. We bought some new bedding, as Kian never really had a "set" and most of his sheets got ruined. I feel like he needed something "new" of his own since all clothes, toys and gear are hand-me-downs. Not that he will care.

Don't mind the naked boppy, the cover is in the wash.



I should have taken off the blanket covering the changing pad. Underneath is a really cute green and brown, big-circle, fuzzy cover. We didn't want the cats getting it furry.

Please note the large brown basket full of cloth diapers. Excited to be getting those out again. I used them for 8 months with Kian before he started daycare. So much better, cheaper, and not having that chemical smell when you open a package? Yuck. I also have a lot of new cute covers--Christmas ones, Dr. Seuss ones, etc.


I just emptied those 2 bins (0-6 month clothes) and realize that Kian had more clothes as a newborn than I have had in my entire life. The top drawer is packed so full of onesies-it's insane!

He was trying to help me put together the activity pad and playing with the bouncy seat. He thinks he can still sit in it, um no. For now, my sewing table is in there. We're thinking of putting it on the front porch for 'craft area'. But since, he won't even be in this room right away, it's fine there for now.


The curtains will be replaced, those are just old ones we had on there. The light? Ugh. NOT staying, it was our "painting" lamp. So, I'll be finding a nice soft baby-friendly one.

The bassinet will be moving into our room shortly. I'm debating about recovering or replacing the rocking chair pads. We need a couple more sheets, a few more burpcloths, and I want another swaddle blanket, but other than that, we're all set! Just a few small things left to do before he arrives-won't be too long now!

Baby update

Had our 3rd ultrasound today, kidn of liking being able to see him every 6 weeks and watching him grow. We weren't able to get any pictures or 3D views because he buried his head. He is now head down and facing my spine. Which, I knew already. He really flip-flopped about a week ago and since then I've been feeling little heels up at the top, and also my hernia wasn't sticking out as much, so I figured his back or butt had to be covering it. It's a win-win situation! And we want him to stay in this position for the nex 8-10 weeks (or whenever he decides to come out) no breech babies, no sunny-side up babies! Got that little man?

However, we got great views of everything else. His heart still looks good. The echogenic focus (bright spot) on his heart valve is actually fading. I didn't see it right away, like I did last time. and we all (tech included) said it's definitely faded and not as bright as before. From my research it says most of them do go away on their own in the third trimester. That's good news. It means our chances of chromosomal abnormalities are slimmer. It means they aren't really concenred about heart problems--not that they were before, since all the chambers are working properly and heart rate is good. She measured all his bones and head and abdomen and siad he looks really good. She also said she saw hair! I was kind of surprised, with Kian I had a lot of heartburn and he had a good amount of hair. I havent' had any real heartburn (save for the pepperoni nights) to make me think he had much hair.

Weighing in at 3 lbs even and around 15 inches I think. Rigfht where he should be for gestational age. This is good news, means that right now the cord issue, of only having 2 vessels instead of 3, is not affecting his growth at this point. Yay. Thank you God for good news!

Although, I did the math. This means he will gain about 4 lbs and 6 inches in 10 or less weeks. That's a half an inch per week, and 6.5+ ounces per week. That's a lot of growing! So, all of those people who say I don't look so big now, just wait. Just like last time, I'll probalby blow up like a beached whale at the end. =D

Sweetest boy

My baby is about to turn two. Then I will have another baby to take over that role, but not his place. Kian is the sweetest thing ever, except when he's not. But, more often than not, he's his sweet, happy, smiley, silly self. I wish I had a camera, or video of bedtime tonight. He's still recuperating from a nasty cough/fever thing and is just plain whipped. I lay in bed with him and read some stories and say prayers. (Hey, it's easier on this prego body rather than balancing on the edge of a race car bed!) He loves to talk to 'baby brother' and always tells me to "open baby brother" -meaning pull back the shirt so he can talk and touch my belly. He always says hi and tells me he's "petting" baby brother. Sometimes he kisses him. Tonight, he was so tired, he lay real close to me and curled around my belly. He draped an arm over my belly and said "hug baby brother, sleep with baby brother". And just laid there, falling asleep. He now loves to talk about him, that he'll cry and need to eat and will come out when he gets bigger soon, etc. Although, when I told him we'd go to the hospital and mommy would push baby brother out of her tummy he started pushing on it and said "push belly, come out baby brother". Too smart, too cute, too much!

Update on baby #2

So, there's a little more going on with baby #2 than with Kian. Aside, from us still not being able to name a child in however many months we have from positive test until delivery. Of course, I blame that largely on Kevin who refuses to talk names until we can find out the sex. That cuts half the time out, but does allow us to rule out half the names. Can't win. I think we're done to a first name we both agree on, but I want to make sure I/we love it. We have 4 choices for a middle name so far. How that works, I don't know. With Kian, we had the middle name before we had the first name! I give up.

Anyway, Thursday I had a regular prenatal check in. And they kept me there waiting over an hour. I was late for my work meeting. Stinking doctor's offices! Friday we had a second ultrasound and consultation with a doctor experienced in reading ultrasounds. This would be the second time we met with him.

I suppose I should start from the beginning. That would be about 6 weeks ago, when we had our routine ultrasound around 18 weeks. Now, I've had the same technician do at least 4 ultrasounds, including Kian's, and this time we had a different person. She was fine, but my *fave* technician talks through things and explains things and shows us measurements, etc. So, this lady was a bit quiet but she told us the necessary things: boy, heart, brain, 2 legs, 2 arms, all fingers and toes, etc. So, we walk out with our pictures, thinking things are fine and dandy. A day and a half later I get a call from, not my doctor, but another doctor telling me there are some concerns on the ultrasound. At 5 pm, a day and a half later. When all the offices are now closed. She's calling to tell me things and I am completely freaked out and a wreck.

What those concerns were/are: echogenic focus in the heart, and 2 vessel cord. Layman's terms? Click on the link, but basically: echogenic focus is a small bright spot seen with ultrasound in the heart, near the valve. I forget which side, left or right. It can be a calcium/mineral spot, or part of the muscle, or something else. This alone, isn't usually that uncommon. It can sometimes be seen more in babies with Down Syndrome or other chromosome issues. Seeing this spot only raises this chance 1%.
2 vessel cord? Single Umbilical Artery (SUA). Normally the umbilical cord has 2 arteries and 1 vein. Our baby decided to only have one artery and one vein. Again, this isn't super uncommon in babies, approximately 1 in 100 newborns are found to have a SUA. They make sure all other organs look okay and then they just monitor the baby for growth, as SUA can sometimes cause the babies to not grow as much, get as big, especially towards the end of the pregnancy. (This is mainly why we are having ultrasounds every 6 weeks.)

So, alone, either of these "issues" isn't much of an issue. But, because we had 2 things pop up on the ultrasound they wanted to scare the crap out of us and make us worry our silly little butts off. They started throwing words out like Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18, chromosomal abnormalities, etc. And seeing them write "fetal abnormalities" on my chart, you know, along with the high risk for clotting/bleeding disorder? That was so much fun. *insert dramatic eye roll here*

We met with a wonderful doctor who explained these things to us (you know after I did 3 million panicked google searches) and gave us lots of options. They have to legally throw out that "termination" bit, but we let them know what we thought of that. My doctor wanted us to hurry up and do the amnio so that if we did decide to terminate it would be done by week 26. I said "Listen, I know that legally you have to give us these options and that the 26th week is NY state abortion limits, but that is not where were are even close to thinking. We are going to take our time with this and make decisions after lots of thinking, praying, researching, and I'm not doing it all by week 26". With that out of the way, what they presented to us was this: ultrasounds every 6 weeks to measure growth and monitor all other organs, etc., amnio to give us definite yes/no for any chromosome problems, fetal echocardiograph, nothing or any combo of those things.

Kevin wanted the amnio right away, he wanted to know if there was something else going on. But, being that I would be the one with the needle stuck in my stomach, and with my clotting factor increasing the risks for problems during an amnio, I am not so sure on this yet. We agreed we wanted follow-up ultrasounds; plus we get to see that cute baby a few more times. So, we had our second ultrasound on Friday. The cord? Still only 2 vessels, but he is growing perfectly. His measurements are right on for his fetal age. The heart focus spot? Still there. But, it can disappear in the third trimester (we're not there yet) and it can mean nothing. What's important to me is that his brain looks great, his kidneys, bladder, stomach, etc. all look just fine. If more issues arose in other places, then we'd really be looking at an amnio, or at least knowing what we're dealing with. (More concerns in those areas mean more likelihood of a chromosome disorder/problem.)

We are contemplating the fetal echocardiograph, it's another test, it's another hefty co-payment, it's with another specialist, and so on. From the 2 ultrasounds they've seen no other concerns at all with his heart. It's structurally looking just fine, it's working fine, the heart rate is right on, etc. But, then I think with these 2 concerns, maybe I might. So, we're still talking about it. For me, the risk of an amnio just for diagnosing a disorder he probably doesn't have? I don't care to do it. I'm at the point where, they're saying he looks perfectly healthy and typical, and I feel he is, and risking that just to know for sure isn't what I want to do. I couldn't deal with it causing complications and finding out there are no problems with him at all. Either he's fine or he's going to have a slightly increased risk for Down Syndrome. Either way, it's done and we'll deal with it. But, I feel that everything is just fine.

So, that's what's been going on and making us crazy the last month or so. We'll continue to monitor and look again in 6 weeks as we're into the 3rd trimester and see if anything has changed. But, I feel good, (minus the tired and achy-stretchy part) and he looks good, so we're feeling much more peace about this. Either way, God's got a plan and he's going to be with us, so we're all good.

The best part? We got 3D pictures during the ultrasound! Apparently, my doc's office can do them, doesn't like to until around 24 weeks. So that is why we didn't get any with Kian! I'm sure we'll get more next time too, yay! It's way cooler seeing him in 3D, makes me more excited for him to hurry up and get here, for us to get to September and meet him. It's much more real than those black and white outline pictures! Either way, we'll take it. We'll keep everyone informed, and if you have a minute for a quick prayer for Baby Boy #2, we'd appreciate that as well!

It's a... **

another boy.

I was so sure we were getting a girl this time. I'd be lying if I say I wasn't just a bit disappointed. Instead of sweet brotherly kisses on baby sister we'll be seeing whacking sticks and spit wads. I told Kevin this means we might have to try one more time =)

**I'd better add that all fingers, toes, arms, legs were there as well as a 4 chambered heart and brain. He gets the brains from me obviously. ;D

Dreams and Dr. Phil

What do those have to do with each other? Nothing really. Let me just start out by saying how utterly disgusted I am with Dr. Phil lately. I used to like him, and he really wanted to help people and had great advice. He didn't put up with "no guff" as Kevin likes to say. He didn't enable them, he gave them choices and told them the hard truth. But...

But, now... he's just like every other Hollywood nut. I can't stand him anymore and want to shake him as hard as I want to shake this mentally unstable "Octo-mom". He is totally enabling her, giving her baby showers and gear, helping her get assistance in the home, and okay with her lying and fraud of the welfare and food stamp/government assistance programs. Unbelievable. It makes me so angry. I know it's horrible to say, but I'd love to see those babies adopted out to families that truly want children and not for their celebrity status, children to love. Hey, Dr. Phil, why don't you address Nadya about how to properly care for Autistic children (not in playpens with bottles at 3 yrs old) and address her mental health disorders? Bunch of morons.

Anyway. I had to get that off my chest. When pregnant I have extremely vivid dreams. It's scary. I cannot watch any tv that has any violence, blood or scariness in it before bed. I wake up shaking because I dreamed I was in the room with the bloody mattress and guns or...yeah. Thanks CSI, Law & Order, Criminal Minds, Flashpoint, 48 hours and 60 Minutes. I now have to stick to American Idol, Biggest Loser, cartoons, PBS educational and musical programs or Antique Roadshow.

WTF? OB version

I know, I know. I don't use those words. But, Jon and I like to email our "WTF" lists to each other throughout the day of stupid people, stupid things, things that make no sense, that annoy us, etc. It's like venting. So here's mine:

I had my 12 week prenatal appointment today. I only gained one pound in the last month-Yay me! Blood pressure is low as usual. The nurse left and I read a magazine until the doctor came in. She says "Hi, how are you, you look good." I say that I'm doing fine. She then says "Good. Okay I have to put you on the high risk category". Here's where that comes in: WTF? What? Excuse me? Huh? Wait, what again?

I thought she was joking. But, she was serious. Why? How in the world am I high risk? Technically, and really, I'm not. It's because of my Factor VII clotting disorder. Mind you, I have a mild to moderate level. I occasionally get my levels checked. It is *probably* the cause of the annoying, excessive nosebleeds (hello, dad? get it checked, you gave it to me!) and heavy periods. Last time with Kian, I had blood levels checked 3 times throughout the pregnancy and they actually improved. Like, to normal person levels. So, no action was taken, no need for anything.

I guess what happened was, another doctor in the practice recently got an OB patient with Factor VII disorder and brought it up to the practice. Which, of course, turned into a committee thing and a hospital thing and a practice thing and a huge stupid deal. My doctor asked them what the big deal was, told them about me before, etc. They decided as a (CYB) policy that it needs to be labeled high risk. I'm about as low risk as you get! Fortunately, they decided at this meeting/committee that us Factor VII patients don't need to go to a special high risk OB, just have close monitoring of levels and checks with the Hemophilia center, etc. Which, was our plan anyway, like before. How annoying?! It just goes in my record so everyone knows should something go wrong. I just don't like being labeled that, the hospitals and doctors are going to see that and act nutty!

Anyway, the good news is that she found the heartbeat immediately and it's perfect. 6 more weeks until ultrasound. And American Idol is on tonight. And I made delicious ham and scalloped potatoes for dinner. And I have some good snacks to get to. Happy Tuesday.

Baby gear reviews

Specifically-cups. I have so many sippy cups in my house (and bottles) that never got used! We tried them all and, between Kian and I, we became picky. We found some good ones, some great ones and some not so good ones.

I had an Avent training cup (with handles) in the cupboard and tried giving it to Kian a few times around 4-5 months old for experimenting. He couldn't get anything out of it. He chewed on the flat, thin spout. I took the valve out and then he got too much. I poked a few holes in the valve and that helped a bit, but he never liked the flat, thin spout. I put it away for when he older I thought. I'll give this one thumb up.My next purchase was the Nuby training cup. I love, love, love the Nuby training sippy cup. I started Kian on it around 4-5 months (after the Avent failure) with some water just to get used to it. It has handles and a very soft, flexible spout with interesting holes and no valve. I think the flexible part was the key. The other spouts on other cups may have been "soft" as in not hard plastic, but they weren't flexible in his mouth. It's touted as the no-spill cup. And it virtually was. He did well with it and we had no issues whatsoever with this one. Still one of my faves. I give it 2 thumbs up!
So, as he got older and really began using the sippy cup more, we branched out. I had been given some Playtex cups. I tried them around 6 months, once he had the sippy cup thing down with the Nuby cup. The valve created a problem again here. It was too hard to suck with the valve and too much liquid came out when I took the valve out. The spout here was also hard plastic, molded right onto the lid. Kian didn't care much for these cups. I give this 2 sideways thumbs, didn't like them, didn't hate them.

*Here's my developmental expertise tangent: Bottle nipples and sippy cups (especially with short, hard spouts) require that a child use the front mouth and few tongue muscles only. This is okay. But, not great for speech and language development. Cups with straws and open cups, as well as breastfeeding require a child use the jaw and tongue muscles that are further back in the cheek and mouth. This ensures more strength in the child's jaw and cheeks to have the ability for form multiple, various speech sounds. Speech therapists hate bottles on children over a year and they don't care for sippy cups either. They all have "the discussion" with parents about getting the child on at least a straw cup and working towards an open cup. Try it. You will notice if you take a drink from a sippy cup it's all front motion and straws require back movement. Okay, that's over with.
So we went back to square one. I went back to the store and bought the Nuby cup without handles, in larger sizes. I began sending these to daycare with Kian for snack time use as well as using them at home for dinner, while he was still nursing and on a bottle. They worked fine for small amounts. One issue with these is that while they are pretty spill-proof, the way the spout works there are slits in it that when the child sucks open up more to let the liquid out. Kian figured out somehow, that if he bit it a little he could get a lot of liquid to just come out without sucking. This led to pooling in his mouth and either pouring out his mouth or some choking at times. But not a bad cup overall. Another thing Kian figured out with this cup is that while it doesn't spill when you turn it upside down or throw it on the floor, it does make a great paintbrush. He will turn them upside down and drag the spout across his tray, car seat, body, clothes, table, couch, whatever, and the pressure opens the spout and it leaves pretty water paintings. So, not really a traveling cup if you're child's an artist. I give this one thumb up.In the meantime, I had some cups that resemble the old school (also contemporary) Tupperware cups we had as kids. The basic plastic cup with a pinched spout, no valve. I gave this to Kian one day and he did excellent with it. He drinks the right amount and can set it down easily because it's not bulky, it's lightweight and he likes it even without handles. These also do not spill easily. I just ordered some more (real) Tupperware cups, as they travel well too. It gives him control over how much to drink, without being too hard because there is no valve. 2 thumbs up!
Recently, we began giving Kian a straw. He's fascinated by straws and loves to make sure we all use ours at restaurants. I bought the Gerber twist straw cup, because hey it's a straw cup and it twists closed for traveling. Great idea...right? At first, yes. The straw is very soft on top so that it can be bent in the lid for traveling. Not bad. What it actually is, is a multiple piece lid. There's the lid, covered by a rotating lid that closes the straw in. Inside this lid is the soft, flexible straw on the top for drinking and storing, then inside is a hard, larger plastic straw that attaches to this soft one and sucks up the liquid. Yeah, I hate multiple piece things-more cleaning. The problem is that the hard plastic, inside straw falls out a lot. So Kian will be sucking away and then suddenly not be able to get anything because it's detached from the soft straw and is floating inside the cup. Talk about a pain. Secondly, the flexible straw on the top flings around because it is so wimpy. Opening and closing it, setting it down, it falling on the floor, any little movement and the soft straw sprays everyone in a 4 foot radius with milk droplets. Not so fun. The more we use this cup the more I dislike it. But, I will give it 1 sideways thumb for now. =)

We are sticking with the Tupperware sippies for now, but Kian does an open cup fairly well and we continue to work on that. I may look into buying a Baby Einstein straw cup. But since they are expensive I'd like to really see what they look like inside and out before buying it...any thoughts? This is where the Mom's Club huge sale will come in handy next week! yay!

Officially an aunt!

Baby Grant came at 12:40 this morning, to Paul and Elissa (Kevin's brother and his wife). We saw them for a bit at lunchtime, he's a peanut! Makes Kian look HUGE, and makes me sad my baby was that small 11.5 months ago! I feel baby fever coming on again... Do I hear a request for an encore? Maybe get a baby girl in this house soon? hehe....

Baby gear I like, and that I find unnecessary

Besides the obvious: crib, highchair, changing table and dresser that is.



Stuff I love and definitely would want again:

*Baby sling-better than a carrier/front-pack/snugli and way more ways to carry them from newborn phase until toddler (I even have a baby Bjorn and prefer the sling! less weight on baby's legs too)


*bouncy seat-great for when I needed to use the bathroom, a quick shower, throw laundry in, before Kian was sitting or would stay on the floor much, also helped keep the cats out of his face


*bassinet/co-sleeper


*bathtub-with newborn hammock, this was nice when he was brand new and slippery, the hammock held him securely so I could wash him.


*Nuby sippy cup, this was a great beginner cup with no valves, easy to suck out of, he learned quickly on this one -around 4 months.


*books! I've read to Kian from day one and he loves books now.


*a mother's intuition-you do know what your baby needs, wants and will do the right thing

*gowns, lots of them

*washcloths, lots and lots of them

Stuff I see no need for/never used:

*swing (I refused to let him get used to sleeping in there, didn't want to break that habit down the road, so he used it while we ate dinner a few times, that's all. Once he was sitting up or rolling he had no interest)


*wipe warmers


*bottle warmers


*stuffed animals (people give you way, way, way too many)


*baby wedges/sleep positioners-baby usually wriggle out of them anyway


*books like Babywise/Toddlerwise, To train up a child--talk about extreme parenting...


*disposable bibs, place mats or other disposable things...save the earth-wash it

*color changing spoons/cups/etc. -with all the gadgets and gear parent's don't even have to think anymore! Baby Einstein will teach baby how to walk/crawl/sign/talk, gadgets will tel you if food or drink is too hot/cold, you don't even have to use your own finger for it anymore! totally overrated.

*changing pad covers-one more thing to wash or throw in the laundry. the plastic pad could go right in the tub to be hosed off.



Stuff that is nice to have around, but not a necessity:

*Pack-n-play, it definitely is great for traveling, especially over night. I also used mine downstairs for Kian to nap as a newborn and it had a bonus changing table so I didn't have to climb the stairs immediately postpartum. I never used it as a play pen thing.


*exersaucers-Kian just didn't and still doesn't care much for them-hates being confined (he did however love his jumperoo for about 5 months until crawling) I advocate floor time a lot, but it got used a bit during dinner prep, even with Kian protesting.


*bumper pads on cribs-yes I know doctors say no, but when Kian began sitting up/pulling up in his crib I put them in because his poor noggin got whacked too many times


*pacifiers--my "frenemy"

I'm sure there's so much more I'll think of but I needed a yawn-inspiring post for a Friday that didn't require much thinking...feel free to add on...

Friend

Beware Jon!


My new 'brest' friend:

Ha! I make myself laugh.

Why? Why in the world would you do that? You ask? Because. Because I've been doing it for 9.5 months and just because I am going back to work and Kian will be in daycare, why does that mean I should stop? Because I had cow milk sensitivities and Kevin does too. Because I don't want to mess around trying to find a formula that would agree with Kian for just 2 months. Because it's just 2 months more that he really, truly needs it. Because formula stinks, tastes nasty and stains. Because Kian isn't showing any signs of being done yet. Because my child has only had one small illness thus far. Because it's best. Because I want to. That's why.